Afterwards....

As the dust clears, you see what is left of your 'companion'. She's lost the mouth to talk you down with, the eyes to glare at you with, the thoughts to haunt you with, and the hand to stab you in the back. Her body is left in such a way that resembles what she truly is: a snake. It then gets up and slithers away, no doubt to find another all-too trusting friend to slowly murder. You look as the sword, made up of all your combined hatred, malice, and rage for the betrayer, finally break to pieces and disappear within the ground. Your wounds then start to finally heal, and you feel relief from their constant and agonizing pain. You finally feel free of the endless burden of everything that was hidden from you, yet affecting you from the beginning. When all the dust completely settles, you realize who's looking at you. It's your true friends, the ones who have not hurt you. The ones who would stand by your side in times of strife. The ones who care about you not for the benefits they get from you, but because they know how they can help you as you have tried to help them. They know you for your character, not your benefits.

However, the stress of this whole situation has tested the entire fabric of the bonds between both you and your friends. Your trust has been tested, and they can tell, for every fight has casualties. Some rush to your aid and help you on your feet again right away while others seem to linger and dawdle around the subject of what just happened. You can feel the dawdlers judging you, trying to determine if you were justified or completely unwarranted. Many know you were correct,that she was a cancerous cell to you and others, but some still waver at the idea of you actually showing your violent emotions like that toward someone you considered for a long time to be a friend. You notice a new crack in your shield where there wasn't one before, as well as several new dents. For your shield is your personal mental, physical, and emotional stability, and everyone falters when left alone.  

Bemusings on Betrayal (part 2)

Then, it happens. The epiphany sent by pure luck and chance to make things right. The reflective back of your shield catches the reflection in the dagger and sends it straight to you like a pony express messenger. The reflection reveals your back and ,most importantly, the numerous times you've been stabbed there. You see wound after wound, some still dripping blood while others are dried shut. You then remember this has happened before. The exact same event, with the exact same 'friend', and creating the exact same reactions from both of you. You then see why you had forgotten, you had become so used to the pain and suffering that you couldn't feel it anymore.

Now, you're livid. Not just because of the memories and the inaction you took, but because the dagger was never sheathed. As your 'friend' raises the dagger again, you quickly raise your sword and slice her hand off. She screams the most blood-curdling scream you've ever heard. You almost feel bad for doing the deed, until she starts spreading lies. "He cut me! He's a traitor to all of us!" She tells your other friends who you've trusted and kept watch over. Luckily, they know better, for they've seen your back much more than you have and just never had the heart to tell you. They thought you too innocent, too pure, too good-humored to see what was being done to you.

Well, who's laughing now?

You call out to her, with the utmost rage and insanity being held back only by your morals and petty forgiveness. You denounce her for everything she's ever done to you, all the pain she caused you, all the pieces of you she cut out, all the lies and misinformation she's spread. Then, you tell her how you've forgiven her, counting the scars on your back, a total of almost 51 times and this is how she repays you. She then tells the whole truth "I was never your friend, OK? I just felt like you needed my help and I had to keep it that way!"

You raise your sword again.

"What do you think you're doing?! You still need me, especially now!"

No, you don't..... 

Bemusings on Betrayal (part 1)

There are many great pains in the world. Headaches, migraines, romantic rejection, acid reflux, anxiety, blunt-force trauma, and PTSD to name a few. However, none of these even compare to the one great pain of being stabbed in the back by someone you trusted. The strike itself comes with a bit of a surprise. No one could've expected it, especially since she was your friend. You had spent the majority of middle school talking to each other, getting to know each other, and understanding each other's interest. You realize, now, it was just manipulation. As soon as the blade is removed, there is an even sharper pain that worms and twists it's way through your body like some sort of unwanted parasite. It works it's way through your spine, past the lungs, and right to your heart. The biggest organ in your body now has a hole in it not by your actions, but another's misguided pride. You fall forward, the eternal protection you had for your friends is put on the back-foot and falters for a few minutes, the shield doing nothing but reflecting yourself with the appearance of a shattered mirror (a fitting form for the occasion). Until this point you've done nothing but sacrifice to please her, sacrifice to keep the balance, sacrifice to benefit from one another's company. Now, you realize what you've wasted on her to have her by your side only for her to find your weakest point and capitalize on it. with this in mind, you twist. Not just physically, but mentally. "How could she do this?" "I thought we were friends?" "I've done nothing but be generous and kind and helpful and this is how she repays me?!" You go from the back-foot to forward. Your shield is now upright, however, in the opposite direction. She cowers at the scene. "It was only a joke." "You'd destroy what you've built this quickly?" "It was only a little fun." After glancing into your stern eyes for a long time, realizing her petty excuses are getting her nowhere, she says the two words: "I'm sorry." Your eyes go back to how they were, your mood has shifted back to what it was, and you go to turn back to the overall threats to your friends. She thinks she's won.